first class to learn all about the process we were about to face. It took two hours and MAN was that a LONG LONG 2 hours! They gave us so much information, and I left there kind of overwhelmed. They reviewed all the different procedures they will want us to go through, before we can even sit down with the specialist.
I really wanted to see how my hubby was feeling about all this and his thoughts. Well I think we were all just drained and tired emotionally. He didn’t have much to say.
Come to find out he started to have some strong emotions about us having such difficulty conceiving. Some of the things he said hurt me. I know what he said wasn’t meant to hurt me but it did. I started to realize that through all this we were both having such strong emotions, and maybe we wouldn’t understand or knew how to express our feelings to each other. So I decided we should go see a counselor. I believed that these emotions were normal and it was okay to have them, but we needed a safe place to really get them out. We really did not know how to express these feelings to each other! And when we did it ALWAYS came out wrong. We really needed someone to tell us these feelings were ok, and THIS is the correct way to handle them and then we could move forward.
Luckily I have an amazing husband that would do anything for his marriage! He was completely willing to go and be honest, and learn what we needed to do to move forward. I think he is amazing because I know a lot of men that wouldn’t dare to go see a counselor.
We made our first appointment for the list of procedures! I had to have blood work done and a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram). This procedure is a piece of cake for some and others have to be on 1000 ml. of Ibuprophin to deal with the pain. Of course I KNEW where I would be. I was so nervous about this procedure!! I have never had ANY type of procedure done before! I couldn’t find anyone to go with me, so my mom moved her schedule around to take me.
Through all my anxiousness about this procedure I had some great support. People really were there for me and it meant so much. I think my emotions about this procedure were not only scary because I don’t handle pain well, but I knew this was just the next step in finding out what is going on in my body. So the night before I was a basket case! My spiritual mom was there for me and able to pray with me and we agreed that everything would be ok, because He (God) was in control and there with me! The day came for my procedure and I got there with a bundle of nerves! I kept telling the doctors to be nice and that I was extremely nervous! For me the procedure was very painful and not fun. I actually got really sick after it was all done. They did tell me that they found one of my Fallopian Tubes where blocked and were able to work on it and get it to reopen!!
Leaving there I felt like I was finally making progress with my situation! By them finding the problem with my tube...well it just made it so worthwhile. Like I said before, I am willing to go through all this because I need to know what is going on with me. I need to know which direction we need to go next, because for so long we felt like we were in the dark. Now I was given the opportunity to find out what is going on and what a blessing for us, no matter the results!
I am going to go through ALL this with my hands raised high to the sky worshiping my God in Spirit and in Truth!! The AMAZING part is that I know I have some AMAZING people in my life that when I feel like I can’t raise them up anymore they come along side of me and hold them up for me! I heard someone say that “When you see it the least out there, God is working the most where you can’t see it!” This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to face in my life. I have to say not only is it the HARDEST but it is also the MOST rewarding! I am able to truly see Gods handy work in this! And how faithful he is in EVERYTHING!
"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
I really wanted to see how my hubby was feeling about all this and his thoughts. Well I think we were all just drained and tired emotionally. He didn’t have much to say.
Come to find out he started to have some strong emotions about us having such difficulty conceiving. Some of the things he said hurt me. I know what he said wasn’t meant to hurt me but it did. I started to realize that through all this we were both having such strong emotions, and maybe we wouldn’t understand or knew how to express our feelings to each other. So I decided we should go see a counselor. I believed that these emotions were normal and it was okay to have them, but we needed a safe place to really get them out. We really did not know how to express these feelings to each other! And when we did it ALWAYS came out wrong. We really needed someone to tell us these feelings were ok, and THIS is the correct way to handle them and then we could move forward.
Luckily I have an amazing husband that would do anything for his marriage! He was completely willing to go and be honest, and learn what we needed to do to move forward. I think he is amazing because I know a lot of men that wouldn’t dare to go see a counselor.
We made our first appointment for the list of procedures! I had to have blood work done and a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram). This procedure is a piece of cake for some and others have to be on 1000 ml. of Ibuprophin to deal with the pain. Of course I KNEW where I would be. I was so nervous about this procedure!! I have never had ANY type of procedure done before! I couldn’t find anyone to go with me, so my mom moved her schedule around to take me.
Through all my anxiousness about this procedure I had some great support. People really were there for me and it meant so much. I think my emotions about this procedure were not only scary because I don’t handle pain well, but I knew this was just the next step in finding out what is going on in my body. So the night before I was a basket case! My spiritual mom was there for me and able to pray with me and we agreed that everything would be ok, because He (God) was in control and there with me! The day came for my procedure and I got there with a bundle of nerves! I kept telling the doctors to be nice and that I was extremely nervous! For me the procedure was very painful and not fun. I actually got really sick after it was all done. They did tell me that they found one of my Fallopian Tubes where blocked and were able to work on it and get it to reopen!!
Leaving there I felt like I was finally making progress with my situation! By them finding the problem with my tube...well it just made it so worthwhile. Like I said before, I am willing to go through all this because I need to know what is going on with me. I need to know which direction we need to go next, because for so long we felt like we were in the dark. Now I was given the opportunity to find out what is going on and what a blessing for us, no matter the results!
I am going to go through ALL this with my hands raised high to the sky worshiping my God in Spirit and in Truth!! The AMAZING part is that I know I have some AMAZING people in my life that when I feel like I can’t raise them up anymore they come along side of me and hold them up for me! I heard someone say that “When you see it the least out there, God is working the most where you can’t see it!” This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to face in my life. I have to say not only is it the HARDEST but it is also the MOST rewarding! I am able to truly see Gods handy work in this! And how faithful he is in EVERYTHING!
"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!
you are such a wonderful inspiration! I thank you Ang for always sharing and yes you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I will keep you and Daniel in prayer for the counselor meeting. Wonderful couple!
ReplyDeleteAngie, you and Daniel are in my thoughts and prayers. you are both young and strong and will get through this process. Matt. 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. love you :)
ReplyDeleteWhat wonderful faith. I'm so sorry it was painful. However, I'm so glad you have the hope that comes with progress. You're in our thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteThank u so much guys!! Love u ALL!!!
ReplyDelete