Me and My One and Only!

Me and My One and Only!
My Best Friend!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

“This isn’t a Set Back! But a Set UP for God to do Something Good!!”

Well where do I start on this one! About a 2 months back I went to my doctor visit and come to find out my insurance was terminated due to some paper work through Daniels work. So we did not have not have insurance to cover my treatments right now. Man when I heard those words it threw my back so far emotionally! Everything was goin through my mind of frustration and anger and fear! Main thought in my mind was “Man, all long we thought getting the insurance and coverage of treatments was a blessing! And our key to starting the family we have dreamed of! BUT that key was taken away in the matter of seconds!” I jus started treatment and it was working! My body was just getting regulated and I was ovulating! Now with out those treatments my body goes wackO and doesn’t ovulate.

So many Thoughts going on in my head! Just maybe this is God saying it is not my will for u to have a baby naturally! Which would completely break my heart! BUT I love God so much that whatever his will is that’s where I want to be! The pain of the thought of that hurts a lot! In my mind though I feel like I am at a fork in the road standing in such confusion! I am praying for Gods direction, cause if his will is for me and my hubby not to have children naturally I would LOVE to know so I can stop fighting and going through this pain, and be able to just move on with what ever his plan is for us!

I have been in a lot prayer lately about this and really just crying out to God and sharing with him everything on my heart and mind! During this time I have been rereading the story of Hannah and the other women in the bible that cried out to the Lord for a Baby!

During this time of prayer God has really been reminding of times he has truly spoke to me and Daniel about our future of having a family! One of the major things he has been reminding me of is a dream Daniel had a while ago! In this dream Daniel and I had an Egg and we couldn’t figure out how to hatch it! But God told Daniel we need to keep it covered! And the next morning our egg hatched! But there was something special about this egg the color of it was sparkly! Daniel and I never really completely understood the dream but we have been praying about it and we keep coming back to prayer and faith! That our egg needs to be covered in prayer and faith! With that our special gift will hatch! But the incubation period is SO important! I need to take care of my body and cover my womb in prayer and TRUST that GODS timing is PERFECT! And in Due Season I WILL hold my baby!

With ALL this said I ended up getting a special letter in the mail from Daniels job and it said that our appeal has been approved and I was back on his insurance!! We were so excited and relieved to know I will be able to go back to treatment! I looked at Daniel and I said WELL I guess we got our answer which is to keep going and fighting to have our family! I got scheduled treatment and was nervous because I knew they were goin to have to do some other procedures before putting me back on my meds! And I looked at Daniel and I said babe please tell me it will be worth it again! And he looked at me and “Said Babe it will be worth it! Our baby will be worth it!”

My life right now is TRULY a Long Rollercoaster ride!! And Latly it has made me Pretty nauseas! But I have gotten off for a min to breathe a lil and catch my breath and of course hold my tummy down! And During those breaks I have learned that every situation that I have come acrossed is NOT a set back BUT a Set up for God to do something Good! And All these lil bumps in the road are teaching and preparing me for His special Plan!! So with that said I am BACK on the Ride! And Riding in Style and Praising God Through it ALL!!

Mercy Me~ Bring the Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain