Blessings come from Rain Drops!!

Where in the world do I start? It has been quite an exciting 4 months!! The joy of knowing I am carrying my little miracle is always so breathtaking and amazing for me to think about! It also has taken me back to a lot of things God told me through this process. The number one thing was the dream Daniel had couple years ago that we had an egg and the Lord said we need to cover it! We believe that He meant prayer and not just by us but by ALL of you! I TRULY believe that we are finally at this point in our life of starting our little family because all of you have stood by us through all the tears and laughter and NEVER gave up on us! Thank you guys so much!

I truly believe Gods timing is perfect!!! I am so overjoyed with becoming a mommy! I look back on the 4 years of grieving and the pain we went through; every time we hit a dead end (or so we thought) I clearly remember the times I said I AM DONE! This pain is too much to handle. I don’t know if I can go on with this! WHY ME God? But my faith, my friends and family truly helped me stand through this storm! And I wouldn’t go back and change ANYTHING! It has strengthened my Faith in SO many areas! God showed us through ALL the hard times He NEVER Left us. He said Just be Still and KNOW I am God! “ FOR I KNOW THE PLAN I HAVE FOR U! Plans NOT to Harm you, but plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE!” Even though some days were harder to push through, I did and it was ALL worth it! And in a few months I will be able to hold my Special Gift that I have been waiting for!!! And that makes it all WORTH it!!

When we got to go into that doctor’s office for the first ultra sound to check for the heart beat the devil was trying to play a lot of mind games with me, reminding me of my past experience! But my mind was covered with his blood and I honestly went in there with such peace!!! When she pointed out the heartbeat on my little one it was the most amazing thing to see and the doctor said it was a very strong heart beat! And those are the words everyone wants to hear!! She gave me lots of pictures and brought so much joy to my heart!

July 9th we get to go and find out if our Special Gift will be a girl or boy. Yes, in our hearts we would like a baby girl! But honestly I don’t really care!!! It will be just as special and spoiled and loved just as much!!! As long as I have a healthy and strong baby it will be ALL good either way. I will keep all of you Posted!!

Before I close let me encourage you that whatever you are going through and no matter how long you have been going through it DON’T give up. The waiting period is a time to grow and trust and learn so much about Who Our God really is!! We have so much to learn about his faithfulness and love for us!! Stand on his word! Surround yourself with those that are positive and will be able to lift you up when you feel like you can’t lift your self up anymore! The prize at the end is SO worth it! Hang On!

"He is an On Time God!!"

Wow!!!!! This one I am SUPER excited to write!!! On April 7th I heard the words I have been waiting to hear for 4 years!! For a few days I had some weird spotting and wasn’t sure what was up with that. I knew it was different and I have not ever experienced this. Last month they up my Clomid so I just thought the hormones were off a little, and was starting a period early. I called my doctor and they asked me to come in for blood work to rule out pregnancy, so they could do the normal procedure. I completed the blood work and when I called the next morning for the results, instead of the normal "negative" results, the voice on the other end says Well it is Positive!! Your pregnant! I kept repeating was are you sure? Really? Really? Really? WOW! Do you have the right persons information?? She just kept saying "yes really!" You are Angela Germolus right?? I said Yea that is Me!!! And if you can in envision when it really sunk in, all I could do it run out from where I was and scream to my friend in her office I am PREGNANT!!! We started to hug and scream!! And all at the same time I am still on the phone with my Doctor trying to talk to them! (hahahahaha)
One of the coolest parts about this was I didn’t even tell my husband that I was going in for blood work! So he had no idea! I talked with my friend and we decided to get him a cookie from our bakery and have them write on it “Soon to Be Daddy”. I wrapped up my pregnancy test and had him come to my work for lunch, and gave it to him in front of everyone! He was so shocked! I LOVED his reaction!
I want you all to know how overwhelmed and amazed at the support and love we have gotten since we found out our good news!! All the Facebook messages and texts and calls with prayers and such excitement and encouragement have meant SO much to us!! All of you guys have invested so much of yourself into my journey and I can not thank you enough!! God is TRULY an Amazing GOD! That has PERFECT Timing for EVERYTHING!
It has taken us 4 years to conceive again! We have stood on our faith and trusted that God knew what he was doing! He had us right where we needed to be! It was NOT an easy road and there were many many times we wanted to give up! But I truly believe that because of our faith and trust in God and ALL of you praying for us and truly standing in the gap for us has helped us so much!
All of this is still a little surreal to me and has not completely sunk in!! We are right now filled with so much excitement and nerves! We have to wait till April 28 to have our first ultrasound! And for all of you that know our story would know that 4 years ago I miscarried late in my first trimester when we went for our first ultrasound there wasn’t a heart beat detected. You can imagine our anxiousness and urgency of wanting to know our baby is ok!! We are Believing God got this and we are going to see that little heart beat and walk out of that room with HAPPY and JOYFUL Tears!! So I ask all of you to PLEASE PLEASE Stand in faith with us on April 28th!
I want to encourage all of you that have been praying for something in particular for many years! I know it is not easy and there are days where you truly sees Gods handy work in the situation, and there will be days that God is silent, and we wonder why its taking so long! You start to question if all the heartache and pain while you wait for the answer is worth it. Let me encourage you... IT IS WORTH IT! Even if that answer is not what we want, God has a plan for everything! He has perfect timing for everything. He knows WHAT we need WHEN we need it! And He also sees our future and what it holds!!! And WHAT in our Future is BEST for us! So please keep praying! He hears you and has NOT forgotten about you! He loves us more then anything and wants nothing more then to bless His children and see us smile!!!!

I have posted this music video from the movie Facing the Giants! I can relate so much to it with the pain and the joy!! And i have to say if i would have to go through it ALL over again! I wouldn't Change a Thing! God has perfect Timing for EVERYTHING. Please Watch and be Blessed!!!

"Keep Pushing! Stay Focused!"

WOW where do I start? So much has gone on lately with me! Lots of eye opening things! The meds I am on for fertility are working I am ovulating normally, which is a great thing for me! It makes me happy and gives me so much hope for the future of our family!!

The last few weeks I have just been thinking a lot about my past and future and how they are all tied together! How I have let certain things from my past dictate certain things for my future! I am super blessed to have a special spiritual mom in my life where she can be honest with me and push me into a direction I need to be going! She is able to tell me “Hey enough is enough it is time for a change!” I have so much going on in my life, not only trying to start a family.

This last weekend I went to a women’s conference and God spoke so clearly to me about certain things. And one of them I really wanted to share with you guys! Some of you know less then a year ago I started to “run” for exercise! I often have looked at runners outside and thought to myself "man I want to do that type of running and just get in that zone!" I began to run/walk! God knows I couldn’t just get out there and run for days! Jus doesn’t work that way! There is a process certain stretches to do before and after. You must learn the right breathing technique so you don’t collapse from not enough oxygen! Start slow and easy, You don’t want to get out there and take off in a sprint, because in NO time you will end up completely exhausted! Of course you need a good exercise plan to balance you out. Before this conference I looked at running as my stress reliever and something that was helping me get into shape and burn more calories. Little did I know God opened my eyes to something COMPLETELY different! My running was not just for exercise but it was a living example of how He wants me to live my life! I know you are probably making a weird face! LOL but let me explain! When I run my routine is to get into my work out clothes and then put on my running shoes, then stretch! Then I get my Iphone on worship music! When I start to run I really start worshiping Him! I get in that zone of it jus being me and Him! Its an amazing feeling! But there are days when I get out there and start running and I will get cramps or extra tired that day or distracted and it causes my running routine to mess up!

Well God started tell me that the routine of running is jus like my life! He wants me to push through all those emotions and distractions that will hit us in our everyday life or even when bad things come up from the past that will sometimes cause us to become out of breath! God wants us to keep running and stay focused!! He never said our road that we will travel will be easy! But he did say that he …“Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."(John 4:13) and “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5)

At the Conference a Video was shown and it spoke to my heart to strongly!! I posted it for u guys to see! Please watch it and be encouraged! And know that Our life is worth fighting for!!! Our Dreams are WORTH fighting for! Not to long ago I was ready to give up my dream of having a family! But I had a reminder that there is ONE person out there that comes to STEAL, KILL, and DESTROY! And that is Satan!! I am going to tell you right now that there is NO way I am going to let him steal ANY of my dreams and squash them, because God told me Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for GOOD and not for DISASTER, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE”

The day I came home from that conference I had the urge to go out and run before it got dark! So I did and I even was pushed to add an extra block to my normal route. During that run I ended up getting some real bad side cramps, which I haven’t gotten in MONTHS! My husband was with me running and he kept asking if I was ok and I jus motioned to him lets keep going!
The only thing going through my mind was this pain hurts SO bad and it would be SO easy to stop running and walk the rest of the way back home. I kept pushing myself and I was probably 5 blocks from home when the pain increased and I felt like I had to stop and try to breath and stretch it out! So I did for jus a second and my husband asked again are you ok? Do we need to walk the rest of the way? And I said NO lets go! And even though I was still hurting my eyes were focused on my finish line! And at that point I was brought to tears because I felt the Lord speak to me and say “This is your life! It's worth fighting and running for! NEVER let go of the DREAMS I have given you as a YOUNG Girl!! Keep PUSHING! STAY FOCUSED it WILL be WORTH it!!” And I have to say no the pain did NOT go away But My husband kept telling me you are doing good ang keep going, come on you got this!! Finish Strong! You can make it, You are almost there! When I made it home and my finish line(which is ALWAYS my car in the drive way) I couldn’t even explain to you what kind of emotions went through my mind and filled my heart!! Let me tell you I could have easily dropped to my knees in Worship!

Please Whatever your situation is right now whether its difficulty becoming pregnant or family issues, work, or you have LEFT your dreams behind because it was getting to hard or looked unrealistic! Know that your race is WORTH Fighting! RUN with Excellence! You are a Child of the King!! Stay in the race. You are not alone! Your HOPES and DREAMS are worth it ALL!...I want to leave you with this, When you take away ALL your hopes and dreams what kind of life are you living? What do you have to live for?

“This isn’t a Set Back! But a Set UP for God to do Something Good!!”

Well where do I start on this one! About a 2 months back I went to my doctor visit and come to find out my insurance was terminated due to some paper work through Daniels work. So we did not have not have insurance to cover my treatments right now. Man when I heard those words it threw my back so far emotionally! Everything was goin through my mind of frustration and anger and fear! Main thought in my mind was “Man, all long we thought getting the insurance and coverage of treatments was a blessing! And our key to starting the family we have dreamed of! BUT that key was taken away in the matter of seconds!” I jus started treatment and it was working! My body was just getting regulated and I was ovulating! Now with out those treatments my body goes wackO and doesn’t ovulate.

So many Thoughts going on in my head! Just maybe this is God saying it is not my will for u to have a baby naturally! Which would completely break my heart! BUT I love God so much that whatever his will is that’s where I want to be! The pain of the thought of that hurts a lot! In my mind though I feel like I am at a fork in the road standing in such confusion! I am praying for Gods direction, cause if his will is for me and my hubby not to have children naturally I would LOVE to know so I can stop fighting and going through this pain, and be able to just move on with what ever his plan is for us!

I have been in a lot prayer lately about this and really just crying out to God and sharing with him everything on my heart and mind! During this time I have been rereading the story of Hannah and the other women in the bible that cried out to the Lord for a Baby!

During this time of prayer God has really been reminding of times he has truly spoke to me and Daniel about our future of having a family! One of the major things he has been reminding me of is a dream Daniel had a while ago! In this dream Daniel and I had an Egg and we couldn’t figure out how to hatch it! But God told Daniel we need to keep it covered! And the next morning our egg hatched! But there was something special about this egg the color of it was sparkly! Daniel and I never really completely understood the dream but we have been praying about it and we keep coming back to prayer and faith! That our egg needs to be covered in prayer and faith! With that our special gift will hatch! But the incubation period is SO important! I need to take care of my body and cover my womb in prayer and TRUST that GODS timing is PERFECT! And in Due Season I WILL hold my baby!

With ALL this said I ended up getting a special letter in the mail from Daniels job and it said that our appeal has been approved and I was back on his insurance!! We were so excited and relieved to know I will be able to go back to treatment! I looked at Daniel and I said WELL I guess we got our answer which is to keep going and fighting to have our family! I got scheduled treatment and was nervous because I knew they were goin to have to do some other procedures before putting me back on my meds! And I looked at Daniel and I said babe please tell me it will be worth it again! And he looked at me and “Said Babe it will be worth it! Our baby will be worth it!”

My life right now is TRULY a Long Rollercoaster ride!! And Latly it has made me Pretty nauseas! But I have gotten off for a min to breathe a lil and catch my breath and of course hold my tummy down! And During those breaks I have learned that every situation that I have come acrossed is NOT a set back BUT a Set up for God to do something Good! And All these lil bumps in the road are teaching and preparing me for His special Plan!! So with that said I am BACK on the Ride! And Riding in Style and Praising God Through it ALL!!

Mercy Me~ Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

"My Special Gift!"

My Special Gift!!

Christmas is FAST approaching! Every year since I miscarried, I have dreamed of finding out I am pregnant a few days before Christmas so I can put together a sweet gift for my husband or family letting them know I am carrying this precious little baby! Well this year again I don’t have that to share~

This year I have been pondering on is that dreaded question “What would you like for Christmas”? And honestly I have everything I need!! A GREAT husband, Family and Special Friends and blessed with a Special Spiritual mom. Of course there is that one special gift we would LOVE to have. I just keep telling myself that God is holding on to that special gift for an extra special day!

A couple of weeks ago I got through my first week of clomid fertility meds and it went good! I also had ovulation testing to se if they worked. Well days went by with an empty circle. I was getting very frustrated! Ever since I miscarried I hated taking pregnancy tests because I dreaded getting that negative sign (which happened A LOT) so as the days went by with a negative result, my disappointment was increasing. It was he last day for my ovulation predictor and I just thought "I am ready to just throw this kit out my window because it isn’t even WORKING!" But of course I don’t and I wait patiently (NOT) for my results and as I go to check the results I already told myself that it was going to be an empty circle so I don’t get upset or surprised! As I check it I had to double look and I screamed FINIALLLLLLY it worked! Better late then never I guess, rite!!! I got my Smiley face!

Now is that FUN waiting game of seeing if now I will be able to either start my period naturally or get that LOVELY positive pregnancy blood test. I know my emotions during the holidays are so up and down BUT there is one thing I have ALWAYS been able to count on. God's plans are so much better than our own! He knows what is best for my family and me. Even though I have this dream of when and how I would love to share with my family and friends of our special news, I would rather it be His plan. (I tend to mess things up on my own, anyway!) With a God I can always count on, I know His timing is perfect for everything! And he knows when that perfect day will be and how it will be! Like I said before I truly believe God is saving our special gift for an extra special day! And whenever that day will be I know it will be just as perfect or even BETTER then I have ever dreamed of!

I Pray that This Christmas ALL of u will Hold dear your Family and Friends!!! And remember 2 things its not what you get it, it is who you are with!! And we are to rejoice because we are celebrating a VERY Special Birthday!!! Remember Jesus is the TRUE reason for the season!

Ecclesiastes 3:1-6 (Contemporary English Version)

Everything Has Its Time

 ¹Everything on earth    has its own time
   and its own season.
    ²There is a time
   for birth and death,
   planting and reaping,
    ³for killing and healing,
   destroying and building,
    ⁴for crying and laughing,
   weeping and dancing,
    ⁵for throwing stones
   and gathering stones,
   embracing and parting.
    ⁶There is a time
   for finding and losing,
   keeping and giving,

"Trying to believe!"

November 5th was the big day for my husband and I to find out our results from our testing with the Specialist! The week leading up to it was such a crazy week of emotions! A few times I felt so overwhelmed about the outcome!! I knew that there was a possibility that we would hear the words we didn't want to hear. Perhaps there was no hope and we would never have our baby. So my human flesh side was coming out with fear and thinking God what Kind of faith do I walk in that office with?? The Faith that everything is going to be great and just Claim it? Or walk in there and try not to expect anything because at least I won’t be leaving with a broken heart. A broken heart is what I feared the most.

One night that week I wrote my spiritual mom and shared with her my feeling and asked her to pray for me. She wrote back and told me to take a “Deep Breath and Give it to God” Sometimes when we get caught up in the emotions of it all, we just need someone to say "HEY...remember who you serve. Step back for a moment, breathe, and GIVE IT TO GOD!" Its not easy to do but boy did I need to breathe! And I know my God could give me the everlasting Breath that I needed at the moment.

Appointment day came and man I can't tell you how nervous I was! I knew they had one more treatment to do and then we would get the results of everything. My Hubby and I were very anxious! We just kept saying that bible verse “Philippians 4:6 (New American Standard Bible) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God”. Got all the results and they said everything looks good internal, blood tests came back good, Daniels tests came back good too! So the only thing they believe is my problem is ovulation, not ovulating naturally.

You are most likely thinking “That’s GREAT news!” And it was because it could have been so much worse. But my first reaction was “wow good news, but man I am back to where I was in the beginning of this journey” Back on the Meds, and the percentage they are telling me with girls that have PCOS of being able to conceive and carry full term is less then 50%. So hearing all that just scared me and I felt myself going back to that emotional state of mind, here we go again! I had so many people texting me and trying to see what happened at the doctors and I ignored it because I didn’t feel ready to talk to anyone about it. I still was trying to figure out how I was feeling. I finally started to text people back and let them know, and I got some great feed back from some great friends! They were just reminding of what kind of God we serve! And what he has told me in the past! I ended up talking to my spiritual mom for a bit and she just kept telling me I was going to be ok and that God is Bigger and he has a plan! When I got off the phone I just sat there and cried out to God with tears rolling down my cheeks saying “God I TRUST you I do, but this Journey hurts so bad! I don’t know how much more I can take, I need you now more then ever” When I was able to get that out I felt an overwhelming peace come over me! And I heard him whisper to me “that he hears my cry and he is standing in the midst of our journey”
I know God has a plan for me and Daniel!! And going through this is NOT easy and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. When you are going through something like this your emotions are so up and down! I can’t imagine going through everything that I am without God's peace and knowing and learning Who I TRULY am in Christ! With my faith I can lean on that! Because I know God does have a plan for me. But without him I would feel so lost and sad, and maybe even worthless. A lot of people believe you grow up get married and have babies! And if you don’t have babies they begin to ask, all the "whys" and whens" which is the HARDEST thing to answer. I am blessed to have a God that Loves me for ME and have friends and family that can help carry me when I feel like I can’t walk through this storm anymore.
I believe when you are faced with challenges such as mine we do have that choice to stand on the faith that God knows what is best for Us! There are days where you can't see past the hurt you feel at that moment. Like when you find out that some of your closest friends are pregnant. It takes your breath away for a bit. But then I stop myself and say “wait a minute I am not them I am Angie! And God has a special plan just for me! It is ok!” Because I am TRULY a Child of the King! And I was made in His Perfect Imagine and he has a Perfect Plan for my life and my family!

At twenty years of age i'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But you've already won the battle
And you've got great plans for me
Though i can`t always see

`cause i got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own i'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders i can see
I'm free to be me

When i was just a girl i thought i had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and i'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes i would doubt

`cause i got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own i'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders i can see
I'm free to be me

Sometimes i believe that i can do anything
Yet other times i think i've got nothing good to bring
But you look at my heart and you tell me
That i've got all you seek
And it`s easy to believe
Even though

`cause i got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own i'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders i can see
I'm free to be me

"Changed from the Inside Out!!!"

Well guys I have finally been able to get everyone ALL caught up to where I am now in my life with my Goliath Experience!!!

The last few weeks have been hard because the Doctors kept taking my blood for my glucose levels! They were nervous because they weren’t extremely high but high enough to want to send me to a high risk specialist if the levels stayed that way! The only thing that was going through my head was that the last 6 months spent losing all this weight was not only to look great but to avoid becoming diabetic and putting me and my baby at risk! During this time people kept telling me it would be ok and that everyone has it! I just thought "are you serious right now"? They were doing all they could to justify having diabetes to me. I think they wanted to calm my fears and show support but honestly it wasn’t working! If anything it was making me a upset. I know everyone thought if it was genetic there isn't much that can be done but I know without a doubt that my God is bigger than diabetes. I can break that cycle of being unhealthy and get my body in line again and right where it needs to be! I wasn’t going to let the genetics factor keep me unhealthy. I was really scared about this and praying really hard and asking God to please take control of this! After my last set of blood work I got the call that my numbers were normal and I will not be sent to a high risk specialist!!! And I DON’T have Diabetes!! I was SO excited and told the lady on the phone you don’t know how happy you just made me!!

When I was originally approached by my mentor Staci Wallace she knew about all the difficulties I was having with my health and trying to get pregnant. For her the main concern was my health and the weight I was gaining through all this. She introduced me to the program she put together called the Ultimate Body Makeover. I have to say I was tried of being unhealthy and the possibility of pregnancy (or not) and the weight gain if indeed I became pregnant. I got so tired of being where I was physically and mentally. So when she was talking to me about it, I was all for it! When I began the program I really didn’t take it very serious the first 2 weeks. I really had to convince myself to do this; not just to lose the weight but to help me mentally and spiritually! I was ready for a complete change in my life!!! I knew that if I really wanted this to work I had to believe that this was not just a weight loss program for me but a life-change program, involving my mind, my body, and my spirit! I not only wanted people to see the weight loss but to notice a difference in me, inside and out!!

Going through the program was amazing. I was able to deal with some deep emotional issues!! I lost 36 pound in 90days. God did some amazing things in me and through me with this program! I not only got my body back but I was able to learn how to handle some of the emotions that I was feeling through all my circumstances!

I am still battling with my weight and have lots I still want to lose! I keep reminding myself “I am worth it and want to feel good about myself again." Having issues of conceiving truly takes its toll emotionally and physically. When you are dealing with a condition such as mine, emotions of fear, sadness, loss, broken heart , etc. just set right in. Combine that with the weight you have gained and you become self conscious and unhappy with yourself. I had to get to a place where I would trust God and be happy in my circumstances with or without a baby! It was time to get ME back! I needed to be obedient and move forward in whatever direction God chose for me! I wake up every morning and make the choice to see past my circumstance and tap into the supernatural. I talk to myself before Satan does and say “I am a child of the King!! And Made in HIS perfect Image! He Knows JUST what he is doing!! I am in the BEST hands possible!”

"Skin Deep" …ZoeGirl

Sometimes I feel lost
In a sea of insecurity
That rages inside of me
So terribly caught
And the waves of self-rejection
Make me question my ability

But there's a fire that always burns
And there's a voice inside
And all it wants is to be heard

'Cause beyond skin deep
There's so much more to see
My hopes, my dreams designed with destiny
I was fashioned with passion
A burning desire to know the One who made me more
He made me more than skin deep
'Cause I am more, I am more than skin deep
So much more

It's so hard to change
When we are captive to ourselves
Always thirsty for something else
But free or enslaved
We are sons, we are daughters
Called out by the Father's name

So take the fire and let it burn
Unleash the voice inside
'Cause everyone needs to be heard

We are more than the future
We are more than the past
We were made to bring glory
Given souls that will last
We are more than our bodies
We are more than the grave
We were bought by His blood
And from ourselves we've been saved